Bart The Bat


Zoe liked Bats.

She had dreams in bat... flying wildly, chasing bugs in her dreams.

She even asked her mother if she could have one for a pet.

But the bats must have heard her, because one day...

Meet My Alter Ego “Bart The Bat”

Real Story : Its Not Fun When You Have To Get The Bat Out Of Your House Yourself.

(Pictures Of The Real Bat Below)

Go be friends with Bart on Instagram and Facebook…he’s hilarious…

For Valentines day Bart dipped his toes in some chocolate. Or as he said “Eat some chocolate, or if your like me…BATHE in it !

I am H.D Vesser (Alias Bart The Bat)

I grew up reading Piers Anthony (A Spell For Chameleon) Black Beauty, A Wrinkle In Time, and strangely enough, Stephen King novels.

Little did I know how much those books would influence me on my way to what I call “Bartworld,” my favorite escape from the world.

One day I walked into the house after my walk in the morning and went “Whaaaaat?”

Whats that black furry blob on my fireplace???

I looked up close (carefully…think RABIES!) and realized it was a bat hanging upside down on my chimney.

NO ONE would claim responsibility in the area to take care of it, (I spent HOURS on the phone trying to find someone in the area to take care of it, the whole time with the thing hanging off my fireplace) so I had to.

I coincidentally had a box with fixings (it was around Christmas at the time) to make a gingerbread house on my kitchen table, so I took everything out of the box and went up to the fireplace, prayed “please God help me!” and put the plastic top over the bat.

The bats wings shot out the minute I did, one wing wrapping around the side of the fireplace.

It took some serious maneuvering to get that wing back in under the plastic.

Then I took the plastic back just a tiny bit, prayed again “PLEEEEEEEEEEEAASE don’t let him fall out of the box when I lift it up!”

I shut the back on…right on its bum.

EEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE (All the while with it SCREAMING…how would you like to be woken up in the middle of a nap?:p)

SQUEEKKKKKK SQEEEEEEK SQUEEEEEEK!-( Talk about an unearthly sound!!!)

I was still up against the fireplace trying to capture it and get it out of the house in a Costco gingerbread plastic box.

All the while I’m screaming “I’m SORRY!” I’m SORRY!! (For squishing its bum.)

I maneuvered it around and got the bottom off its tush and got a closer look under the box…

I was surprised to see…it was kinda cute, (lil furry thing) with a pushed in nose like a little pug dog, almost adorable even. He even had a cute widows peak and was furrier up top, like a little vampire) all this of course was in a Halloween freak you out movie kind of way. But he was HUGE!

I got my camera. took a picture, let it loose on my deck , and then backed up.

Instead of just flying off my deck, it used its bat arms to do this little bat wiggle, going back and forth with what looked like to me like a half a body out of a horror movie wiggling back and forth.

It went over the first step on my deck and landed, feet hanging over the edge in a perfect bat hanging pose, poor thing, looking confused, like it should have been in a cave but was doing the next best thing.

Glad I could document that YES this actually happened and glad I got to take some pictures. (Sadly enough, most of the pictures are BLURRY. Poor thing kept looking at me cause the camera kept flashing…)

I could hear the poor thing like a banshee in my head screeching “LADY…WHAT THE “BLEEP” are you DOING? I’m trying to sleep here!!”

I finally decided to leave the poor critter alone so it could get some rest, and came back later and it was gone.

Later I realized that the pics I got were mostly blurry, but MAN the thing had a wingspan. (I got some pics of him doing the body shuffle)

So now, I am lovingly re-writing my childhood through these books.

This bat has been one of the coolest things that's ever happened to me. Other than the butterfly, which you can read about below.

I think the most fun place I’ve ever found…in my head. There are butterflies, (that is a whole different story…called "Bart Befriends A Butterfly" ) for the story about something heartwarming happening : a blue butterfly not leaving me alone and landing all over me when I was having a hard time, and the reason why it happened (including a picture I took of the butterfly)

To bees (some of which she and Bart hopes to save through stories) Look forward to “Bart Bumps into a Bee”(The Big Book Of B) the 4th book. (Buzz finds “Barbara bee- who is beloved to me!” lying on a table who is revived by Zoe in a easy way that anyone can try- Save a bee- I actually did! For real! )

There are all kinds of magical creatures in Bartworld.

I had no idea what a big beautiful full of love world it would become when I started writing what I thought would be one book. (now 44 book ideas and counting)

Quaking aspens, butterflies, cats and Dragons and horses and fairies OH MY!

Bartholomew (Or Bart The Bat for short) is H.D.’s alter ego. Which is pretty batty. Har har.